This is a complaint that I have heard a few times.  Though I know it must be frustrating for you, you must understand that many Muslim women are reluctant to relocate with a new husband. 

Most Muslim courtships are short at best, so there is always a fear that things may not work out.  In the case that things do no t work out the woman is the only one who have made the sacrifices, and will be the one left to pick up the pieces.

The only solution that I see for this is to make this one of the first questions that you bring up with a sister. There is no need to waist your time if the sister is not willing to move where you are. 

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Though we as Muslim women are loathe to stereotype our men, certainly the media does a fine job of that, we have witnessed and heard enough stories about fanatically religious or uber traditional men and the disastrous and oppressive marriages that follow.  This is probablly the point that women most consult me on.  Many western women are educated, and raised in a society where they are taught (though it may not work out this way in practice always) that they are on an equal level with men.  So while many women are willing to submit on certain levels to their husbands, they still desire to be seen as valuable and equal in their relationships.

The problem is that many men, especially those not raised in the west, are reluctant to give women this status.  In general men want to be respected, deferred to, appreciated, and validated in the household.  However, reciprocating these actions in an overt manner is not a part their natural thought process.  Many women have “been there and done that”  and are not looking to be in these types of relationships.

This position is certainly understandable, but that leaves us with lots eligible women and few truly progressive men.  This may be where compromise, the woman’s burden, comes into play.  Women must take a step back and evaluate the intentions of the man.  Does he act in ways that displease her because he truly does not value her, respect her, or see her a intellectually equal?  Or is it because he was just being inconsiderate at the moment? Did he really even do anything wrong at all, and is she projecting her doubts about herself, her lifestyle, and personal fulfillment onto him. Any of the above could be true.

There are landmines that we all can navigate.  They usually are pretty obvious.  As a matchmaker I can typically pick out the no go’s in the first 10 minutes of the conversation.  However, my sense is that men don’t always interpret their actions the way women do.  Wishing for a man who listens to your ideas all of the time, takes your advice, and tells you how much he appreciates what you do around the house, and values your work in the house as equal to his outside of the house is probably as good as wishing for a big old pot of gold.  It’s probably not going to happen like that on a regular basis. However, some of the things that you want of him you can likely get over time.  It will be a process of him learning you and what you want, and vice versa.  If you have a husband that fears Allah and respects you then it is likely that how you perceive his actions have as much to do with you as him.  Just food for thought.

As Muslims our goal should be to please Allah (SWT) and then please our families.  You should should take time to please yourself as well.  The more whole that you are, the more whole the relationship will be.

Just the musings of a Matchmaker
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I get lots and lots of people contacting me that are 1 month or less out of a divorce.  Some are a year out, and are quite comfortable in single life.  During the initial consultation I get the feeling that its not marriage that they actually desire, but it just seems like the next step for them.  Many times family and community pressure these individuals toward marriage when that person is not mentally ready.

Marriage is one half of our deen in Islam, and can be a very enjoyable union.  However, it takes much effort, emotion, and consideration.  Marriage is a step that should be taken wholeheartedly with the intention of giving n100% to the effort. 

I typically advise clients to consider whether or not they are ready as my clients are serious about marraige and it is a bad reflection on me to deal with people who aren’t serious about getting married.  But in a larger context our mission is to build strong Muslim families.  This begins with fully stable, well intentioned Muslims.

Thank you for your question.  In most cases the man is unwilling to move. 

He typically has a career that he is tied to, and his sense of responsibility in supporting the family makes him unwilling to jeopardize his situation.  That being said I have worked with brothers who are more than willing to relocate.  This could be because they are soon finishing school and are flexible in where to settle down, or simply have a job that they can do from anywhere. 

If this is a deal breaker for you, then it could be a big hurdle, but it certainly is not impossible.

Ma Salaama

Please send all “Ask a Muslim Matchmaker” questions to admin@islamicintros.com

It is always a person’s choice as to who they are attracted to, find common ground with, and generally want to marry.  That being said, it is also my responsibility as a Muslim matchmaker to be honest and realistic with people and make them aware of how their choices will affect their opportunities.

Please always expect this level of honesty from an Islamic Introductions matchmaker.  We won’t promise you the sun, but we will always do our best.

1. A twenty year old is seldom interested in a 40 year old.  He reminds her of her father.

2. Children. She wants them, he has grown ones.

The lesson learned from this short exercise is for the Muslim man to think realistically about the type of lifestyle he wishes to have, and then consider whether or not having a women who is near his age would keep him from having this lifestyle.  Undoubtedly he will answer no, and then he should consider for what reason is he only considering women young enough to be his offspring.

Ma Salaama
A Muslm Matchmaker

In the era of technology, Muslims are finding that the new doesn’t always beat the old . Muslims are flocking to Muslim matrimonial websites by the thousands if the websites’ membership claims are to be believed. The lure of the instant gratification of thousands of potential soul mates at one’s fingertips is more than most can resist.

However, many are turning away from this resource and to personal Muslim matchmaking services such as Islamic Introductions. Muslims frequenting matrimonial websites often find a repetitive format that is little more than a dating site, with shallow details, and limited privacy.

More and more Muslim families are beginning to gravitate toward the old ways of finding a spouse for their children by contacting agencies like Islamic Introductions. These types of agencies differentiate themselves by offering very personal levels of service and discretion. Clients are interviewed and are helped to discover what qualities they seek in a mate. It is often a process of self-discovery as most Muslims do not mix the sexes in their daily lives, so knowing what they desire in a mate beyond demographic specifications often takes a measure of self analysis.

One of the more disparaging features of the Muslim matrimonial websites is that they often force a person to focus only on the superficial aspects of their preferences in a mate. A person’s attractiveness, occupation, and income are usually the primary filtering criteria.

However, as Muslims, religious ideology and application to one’s life, personality, modesty, piety, and career goals are all important factors in a spouse search.

A professional Muslim matchmaker helps families and individuals to define these needs, and then introduces them only to singles who are viable candidates. After having exhausted technological resources, Muslims singles are beginning to revisit the old school ideas of nuance and personal involvement that are all a part of selecting a spouse.

For more information on Islamic Introductions, please contact them at admin@islamicintros.com, 1-888-279-7773, or www.islamicintros.com.

Author: Alley Emerson

Traditionally Muslims searched for a life partner only among their relatives and friends. But now Muslims are spread out and are living all over the world. Present day Muslims are forced to turning to the matrimonial services more and more in their search for a suitable spouse. These matrimonial services cater to Muslims living around the world. It is created for the sole purpose of providing matrimonial services for Muslim men and women of all ages. They are definitely not Muslim dating services as some may mistakenly consider it.

Islamic marriage is considered as a religious requirement which gives companionship and protection from sin. For women it offers status and security in some traditional Muslim communities. Most Muslim parents take the responsibility of finding a suitable partner for their son or daughter. For the Muslims living in far off countries, choices are limited. So they have few choices than turning to the services of these matrimonial agencies.

One has to be extremely cautious while searching for an eligible suitor since their darker side is never advertised. Generally, only their money, rank, beauty, educational qualification, occupation, religion and few positive points are taken into consideration. Matrimonial advertisements can many times be misleading. So screening and cross checking are absolutely essential before taking a decision.

Asking a third person to get information about his character, habits, family background, financial situation, is a usual routine. But this can be a very embarrassing situation to the person enquired when the suitor is known to have a unsuitable background and this is more so in communities where it is not considered appropriate to talk of others negatives even if it means hiding it or resorting to a “white lie”.

Imams can help to a great extent when it comes to the piety of the individual. But a great deal needs to be done by the concerned parents to search for unrevealed truths.

Both the prospective partners parents are expected to follow the Islamic guidelines laid down while meeting. The concerned individuals are never to meet alone without a chaperone. The meetings are conducted in a business manner so that in case of failures to click, it does not hurt both the parties. It is within limits of decency that they are not loud mouthed or too pushy for the comfort of others. Again it is ideal that they do not form an emotional bonding before finalizing in case the proposal does not come through.

Some Muslim online matrimonial services give tips and advices to choose a partner. Sometimes arrangements are made for both the parties to meet at a common place. But this is rare, since in most of the cases, the concerned people make all the arrangements. All the terms and conditions like dowry and whether the girl can work after the marriage should be discussed during such meetings, before the Muslim marriage is finalized, to avoid conflicts later.

All said and done, all is well that ends well. So these Muslim matrimonial services can help a great deal to forge a start but the concerned parties need to do a lot of ground work to start a marriage in Islam.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/muslim-matrimonial-services-a-vital-need-these-days-225519.html

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Muslim matrimonial services are being used these days to do all that parents and relatives cannot do properly in weddings.

Author: Rafi Michael

Marriage is a sacred institution. It is commonly said that God has made pair for everyone but the two people are united only when God desires. This world is very large. It is divided into a number of cultures and civilizations. Every civilization has some past. The ancient practices and the rituals that have been taking place since centuries play a great role in influencing the culture of every society.

There are common practices which are followed in the modern age also. One of such evidence can be seen in the Muslim marriage. Muslim marriages are performed according to the laws of “Sharriat “.

Marriage in Muslim society is rather a sensitive issue because of the harsh laws of divorce. Marriage proposal comes from the girl’s side. Either the father or the guardian of the girl offers for the marriage to the boy who gives his acceptance in front of two witnesses. The witnesses must be Muslim.

Once acceptance comes from both sides, necessary preparations are done.

It is followed by a ceremony, which is known as “mangani” This is engagement ceremony when rings are exchanged between the boy and the girl. The outfit worn by the girl is provided by the groom’s family.

After this another traditional ceremony known as “manjha” takes place. A paste of turmeric, sandal powder and oil is prepared and it is applied on the bride’s body by the unmarried girls. Patterns of henna designs are made on her hands and feet. A small quantity of this is also applied on the groom’s body.

Finally, on the wedding day, the groom and the bridegroom dressed in the best outfits make way towards the wedding hall.

Bride is given the wedding dress by the groom’s family.

The procession of friends, relatives and family members headed by the groom proceed towards the bride’s house. In the presence of two male members, lawyer and the groom, some of the holy lines of Koran are read. A priest then takes the consent of bride whether she is happy with the arrangement and agrees to get married.

After she agreed, groom’s consent is also taken. A “nikah nama” is then signed by the groom, witnesses and finally by the bride. After this, groom is taken to the bride’s tent where groom give gifts to the bride’s sisters. Then two are sited together and Koran is placed between them and they see each other in mirror. Blessings are showered upon them. Dates and sweets are distributed to the guests.

In Muslim society, marriage is a contract between man and woman. The amount of “hakhmehar” which is amount fixed between elders of both parties is paid to the bride.

After the marriage, a feast is held where various delicacies are served to the guests. Finally, “rukhsaat”, which means bride departure for her husband’s home, takes place.

Four days after the marriage, bride comes to her parent’s home and her husband comes to take her and her family to the reception party. This is a symbol of union of both families. Gifts are exchanged and the blessings for the good future are given to the couple.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/muslim-marriages-traditions-184967.html

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Babylon Toronto Weddings Photography Dj Video Limo Services Wedding Photography & Video Productions Toronto we specialize in individually tailored Wedding Photography, Videos and DVD’s, offering an experienced, highly professional and affordable service.

Muslim marriage as in other faiths is a sacred institution. It is a moral contract binding between a Muslim man and a Muslim woman. Muslim marriages are performed according to the laws of the Islamic Shariah. Islamic marriages are generally arranged marriages by the parents.

The proposal for marriage is made by the girl’s parents to the guy and once with the acceptance from both the sides the ceremony of engagement is made which is further followed by the marriage. The Islamic marriage is solemnized by a priest who takes the consent of both the bride and the groom for the marriage. The bride and the groom’s consent is followed by signing of the marriage proposal by the bride, the groom and the witnesses. The Koran or the holy book is placed between them and they are made to see each other through a mirror. The Islamic marriage ceremony is celebrated with the distribution of dates and sweets and with a grand feast. In an Islamic marriage premarital intimacy is strictly not permitted. According to the religion of Islam a Muslim marriage is the foundation upon which an Islamic society is built.

Muslim marriage is characterized by offering of the dowry by a Muslim man to his spouse. The main purpose is to safeguard the economic status of the Muslim women in case of any unto do incidents. The dowry or the mahr can be paid before or after the marriage and with the failure of the payment of dowry the Muslim marriage becomes invalidated. The Muslim marriages insist on the husband supporting his spouse financially and therefore it is the duty of the husband to support and protect his wife. The Muslim marriage rules also insist that the husband should make sure that both his wife and children have access to the religious Islamic materials.

One major difference between Islam and other religion is the practice of polygamy, the Muslim men are allowed to marry up to four wives as long as he can support and protect them. Muslim women however are not allowed to marry more than one man. The religion of Islam does not permit homosexuality. It allows the marriage of a Muslim man to a Jewish or a Christian woman. Though the Islamic law permit’s the marriage of Christian or a Jewish woman to a Muslim male it does not permit them to have the inheritance of their spouse unless it is conferred by the Muslim man on their Jewish or Christian spouses.

Islamic religion lays down strict marriage regulations as marriage and family are the building blocks of Islamic society. The moral contract between the husband and wife in Islam is bound by certain rules and regulations. Islam clearly defines the role of a husband in a family as well as that of a wife’s duty. It is the healthy family life which would form the basis of healthy off springs. This further would lead to the growth of a strong Islamic society. The ultimate aim being the growth of the religion with staunch followers of Islam and Muslim marriage is a really a formatted institution.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/muslim-marriage-a-relationship-which-symbolizes-islam-and-love-442066.html

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A Muslim marriage is a bond that binds a Muslim man and woman together in matrimony for the rest of the woman’s life.